as a clam

well, everything has been sent to UT.
just waiting for a reply.

i was mostly worried about my essay's, but im pretty sure it's just me.

good news is, BookBee decided to keep me even after rush,
i think im the only temp who became more than a temp.........
............
coming soon to theatures,
a temp who became more than just a temp,
he became........
STAFF
(rated R)

so that should be cool.
o yea so my new laptop.

this is how it went down.
one day i get home from school and say, "mom, having a laptop would be a big help for school."
"well, we were going to get you one for christmas" she says, " but if you needed it this semester we could get it now."
that was easy.
mom i need a new car....for school.......

they were going to buy it this weekend anyway because of labor day sales what not.

next thing i know we are at circuit city looking at this fine piece of work now subject to my phalanges.

but first, i go for the gold. that untainted, pure as honey, silver as silver notebook called
MacBook

"see dad, i have 700 dollars right now, if i saved 400 for school next semester then i could contribute 300 to a MacBook and finance 200 then we could split the cost!"

i pitched every fastball that came to mind.
but in the end it was,

"son, that money is to be saved for school, if you spend some of it on a laptop, we will end up giving you the money you should have saved on your own. besides you dont need to be in debt right now. just wait till you graduate and then buy it."

well,
here i am.
and i really like this notebook, although Vista is the devil
its a colorful devil.
its so cartoony i like it.
so who knows, maybe i'll switch to Linex in the future,
but for now,
im as happy as a clam.
=)

raining

i'm so soaked.
the university is near flooding and Your Precious Narrator had to walk across campus to get to his lame math class.

but actually i'm really enjoying it.
it didnt even run, i took my time.
i recieved every drop.
why?

for one, i was listening to Kid A (Radiohead)
which is the perfect music for a schizo without his umbrella

secound, the lovelist rain, is the when the storm cloud encompass the whole sky, without one ray of sun.

so i guess im gratefull.
thank you Abba

000000000000000010101

i'm sick of browsville.
ugh
i feel trapped
open up!

maybe i'm just not taking life seriously and karma is just taking its role.
like im waiting till im outa here to start my life,
but time keeps ddddrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn' on.
why am i so uncomfortable here?
i dont know.

but im ready to start my next venture.
whatever that means.

brownsville just knows me to well for me to enjoy it i guess...

it seems that most arguments athiest have for their doubt in God's existance is the reputation the church and religion has had in history.
"the people who call themselves 'christians' are hypocritical"
"liberals and athiest have more compassion for people the christian people do"

but i say,
how can we say God is a tyrant because people who take his name act hypocritically?
if any thing God is the most missrepresented person alive.

God's judgement is not understood nor defined correctly i think. perhaps we write too many books about things we dont even understand.

seriously athiest seem more closeminded sometimes than a republican.
He is good!

the trap

last night i re-met this guy i had not seen in ages.
eddie is his name.
he is sarah's older brother.

apparently he knew kelli and andrea and carrie,
last time i saw him i was like 15 or so,
he looks kinda the same.
a dark wash of levi's, a white and black sailor stripped shirt,
his arm decored with ink,
i see the little mermaid, =W= (weezer), a checkerboard.
sqaure black framed glasses, the kind he has always had i think,
and maybe to much gel in his short black hair.
"don't i know you?" he says to me,
"i don't think so" i say.
"do you know my sister Sarah?"
"oh yeah i guess i do" i havent talked to sarah since high school.
later marcus opens my box of memories,
he says
"didn't you go out with Wickie?"
wickie was winnie's sister.
wow.
my mind took me back to winnie's house in 8th grade, im walking to the kitchen and i see wickie with eddie in the foyer, i felt intimidated.

"yeah, thats me"
now i remember where i had seen him, and now he remembers me.

so he tells me he has been in Denton.
a city of musicians.
he tells me last week he was at a party and saw Norah Jones jumping on a trampeline in the back yard,
thats what Denton is like.
he doesnt try to compete with other musicians, he says the best thing to do is try and be original (abstractly).
so he has a band that records on a tape and then he plays guitar over the tape, he writes "joke songs" he called them.
thats how he is accepted, thats how he is heard.
so i thought to myself,
i would hate to live there.
i dont want to be a 'musician' or even an 'artist'
i want to be me.
i felt bad for the guy, not that joke songs are cheesy, but that he feels like thats the only way to have a voice.
when your identity is in music, your set up to be butchered.
it's just depressing when you see other musicians or artist better than you and you promise yourself to be the best and then you arent.
ouch.

he's a cool guy though,
i like him

thanks jason , thanks martin

im listening to the "beautiful people" - jason upton cd again,
it's kinda my favorite.

it's like it brings out my heart every time.

like -_-never alone martin-_-
its good.

today javi (ex-co-worker) tells me
"hey dude, do have chopsticks?"
hmmm.
"chopsticks?"
"it's cause my lips are chopped dude"
lol, oh my gosh this is awesome.
"you mean your lips are chapped?"
"yeah"
i love javi.
"do you know what chopsticks are?"
he doesnt.
"they are the chinese utensils. "
i do some scissor action with my pointer and index.
"oh!"
we both laugh.

here's another good one.
a lady askes me,
"do you have the broccoli and cheese?"
"yes. soup. soupa."
check this...
"does it already have the cheese in it?"

i take a minuete to picture a pan of hot water and broccoli, and slices of cheese being added.
"mmmmmmmmm.............yeah."
"do you have another broccoli without cheese?"

i tried to think of random ingrediants to create a cheeseless broccoli soup,
i wanted to tell her we had another option but we just ran out.
i could have chosen
-----------broccoli egg drop
-----------broccoli noodle soup
-----------new england broccoli chowder
-----------maybe even - marine broccoli gumbo

i couldnt think of anything.
"no, just broccoli and cheese."
"its ok, just like that's fine"
imagine making it slur,
"itsok justlikethatsfine"

well.
today was my last day at the sub-way
looks like the book-bee is my money-tree.
yes.

so if you go to the mall's subway and a guy is working there, his name is javier, and ask him for chopsticks.

every weekday the Machine closes at 8:30
we cannot clock out until nine even if we are done closing up.
on the weekend it is an hour later.
so yesterday, it is 952 and we are finished and ready to go home.

its me and Raquel,
she doesnt speak english,
i hardly speak spanish.
she's a gem, but obviously we have quite a hindered relationship.

so im sitting on the counter and she is staring into the sink and we are waiting.
i look over,
9:54
i shut my eyes and think about something important.
.............
well i thought it was important.
i remember what my body did more than what my mind said.
i scratch my head, smile at Raquel, tap my feet.
what time is it?
9:56
this is stupid.
i close my eyes again.
i open the register and vomit on the greens.
i walk to the fridge and wrap my phalanges around a fireman's axe,
carry it to the computer and swing my redemption right down the center.
---
i open my eyes
9:59
amazing
i look at Raquel again, and all there is to do is laugh,
so we do.

laugh

driving home from work,
i'm hoping the entire mall blows up behind me,
i'm hoping they find a virus in our food,
i dont wanna drive back here tomorrow.
but i will .
and the next day too,
and the following day.

this guy at the bookstore asks me-
"Your Willy right?"
"No 'Y'"
"what?"
"without the 'y'"
his face contorts, and i wanna punch him in the nose,
"what is without a 'why'?"

if i keep my eyes fixed on a object behind him, i won't roll my eyes,
"my name is Will, there's no Y"
"oh sorry"
of coarse he is,

since when did i become an ass anyway?
i guess i've always been one,
everybody is with the right amount of pressure,
thats in the Bible.

"hey Will, you live in your house or what?"
what the hell kinda question is that?
"i'm homeless"
he doesnt get it.
"what do you mean , do i live in my house?"
"you know like do you live with your parents or an apartment or what?"
he just chose an odd way to ask is all.
its rather humorous i suppose.
i presume it is best for me to release some sort of laughter over the matter,
in order to re-define awkward conversation with light-hearted tounge-in-cheek.
ha..ha..
yes with my parents.
"oh cause we (points to his dufus buddy) are looking for an appartment, first paycheck dude!"
well i'm the guy to ask, after all i'm white with dots!
"oh"

while we are on the topic, what is with the Brownsville lingo?
people make up long weird phrases to explain things,
"where do i put this?"
"she said for you to put it there, for you to could find it easier"
-=-==--for you to could?=====--=-=-
i swear i've heard that before.
and when they speak its like a freekin roller coaster,
___________----------------______________-----------_________-------------
"i like this song"
"oh yeah? who's it by?"
"i dont know dude, i'm barley hearing it right now"

lol.
its just easy to laugh.
so lets laugh.


its not like im trying NOT to be like Jesus,
its just easier to be like him when your life is as sweet as a twinky.

pics from white zebraw

Best part of the show!

Twice!