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a whipser in the wind

reality is hard to live in,
i guess thats what i'm feelin',
/
what reality then?

its a state of mind.

i have surrended my mind to be subject therefore to reality.
to transend reality would be re-defining it. which is what i need to do.
but we dont always use words in there correct definition. simply because we are used to using them incorrectly.
i guess thats why i struggle to re-define my identity, beacuse it takes studying a dictionary and changing language.

i've tried to mesh both of my worlds into one, hoping one would eat the other.
but i think one is just a shadowy figure of what goes on in my "real world".
so on which world do i reside?
seems that when i am alone i am on the true one, and when in company i get in my little rocket ship i cruise to my little "false, shadowy, unreal world" and allow people to see the shadows. i fear others opinion to much.
i fear everything to much.

being home

well im here.
2 weeks of school is done.
2 weeks to go.
working at a lame job, trying to be like Him.