the trap

last night i re-met this guy i had not seen in ages.
eddie is his name.
he is sarah's older brother.

apparently he knew kelli and andrea and carrie,
last time i saw him i was like 15 or so,
he looks kinda the same.
a dark wash of levi's, a white and black sailor stripped shirt,
his arm decored with ink,
i see the little mermaid, =W= (weezer), a checkerboard.
sqaure black framed glasses, the kind he has always had i think,
and maybe to much gel in his short black hair.
"don't i know you?" he says to me,
"i don't think so" i say.
"do you know my sister Sarah?"
"oh yeah i guess i do" i havent talked to sarah since high school.
later marcus opens my box of memories,
he says
"didn't you go out with Wickie?"
wickie was winnie's sister.
wow.
my mind took me back to winnie's house in 8th grade, im walking to the kitchen and i see wickie with eddie in the foyer, i felt intimidated.

"yeah, thats me"
now i remember where i had seen him, and now he remembers me.

so he tells me he has been in Denton.
a city of musicians.
he tells me last week he was at a party and saw Norah Jones jumping on a trampeline in the back yard,
thats what Denton is like.
he doesnt try to compete with other musicians, he says the best thing to do is try and be original (abstractly).
so he has a band that records on a tape and then he plays guitar over the tape, he writes "joke songs" he called them.
thats how he is accepted, thats how he is heard.
so i thought to myself,
i would hate to live there.
i dont want to be a 'musician' or even an 'artist'
i want to be me.
i felt bad for the guy, not that joke songs are cheesy, but that he feels like thats the only way to have a voice.
when your identity is in music, your set up to be butchered.
it's just depressing when you see other musicians or artist better than you and you promise yourself to be the best and then you arent.
ouch.

he's a cool guy though,
i like him