i got his new "beautiful people" album and i love it!
my favorite is probably "son's and daughters" or "in your presence"
the verse in "sons and daughters" goes,
-every word sent down from heaven does not go back up until its succeded at what He sent it to do-
i was talking to Ben, my roommate, and he was telling me about this sermon he heard by this new zealand dude. the preacher man was talking about Job when God was asking Job where he was during his creation and what God was saying was "you where here". the guy was saying how he always thought God was mocking Job, but in one scripture Job 38:21 God says, "you were already born, you are really old!"
either God is mocking Job and being literal.
but God knew us before we were knit together in our mothers womb(jeremiah 1) "before you were born i set you apart as a prophet" . what does that mean? what is the possibility that our spirit existed before we got here? were we with God before we were born? i heard T.D Jakes talk about this once. i'm not sure if i believe it, but what if its true?
isaiah 49 - before i was born God called me.- Hu? how?
chorus is
-sons and daughters of the living God-
then he says
-did you know you're a word from heaven?
-did you know you're a child of God?
-all creation is growing
-in the midst of brother against brother, in the midst of the warfare, in the midst of the anger, blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons and daughters of the living God
when i first heard this song, i just felt a peace come over me. i'm being quite literal.
when i heard it i felt a confidence that i really am God's son, and i have a lot of authority in the Spirit because of it. not just for signs and wonders (obviously - or not so obvious) but also the proximity to the throneroom i can go, because i am God's son. like the creator of the universe is my Dad and i have a unique relationship with him. like a son, a little boy with his dad just spending time together.
thats me and God!
29.4.08
27.4.08
21.4.08
extreme devotion
mike talked about having a fierce devotion to the Lord. the talked about the judgement seat of Christ. only christians will be there. on that day no one will be rebuked, it is only a ceremony for rewards for those who went beyond the marker.
"the only rebuke" mike said, "is a silent rebuke"
he went on to say that some christians will not recieve rewards, and when they stand before Jesus, and nothing is given the will feel the pain of regret. (1 cor. 3:11-15- gold and silver and precious stone endure the fire)
he said true love has regret.
the fact that people will have regret and be sorrowful will be a manifestation of their love to Jesus. mike encouraged us with this, - that we dont have to feel such regret when we arrive at the Judgement Seat of Christ if we dont want to. -
this struck fear in my heart.
my question is, what does "extreme devotion" really look like in God's eyes?
i know there is a difference between man's idea of extreme devotion and God's idea/
i dont think its about how much i fast, or how many books i read, or how long i lock myself in a closet. after all the Pharisees were better at all of those things than us.
and according to matthew 5:20 , our righteousness must exceed that of the scribes and Pharisees. but then Jesus says this, "even the least in the kingdom of God will be greater than John the Baptist." wow! Jesus! (Matt 11:11)
obviously Jesus doesnt evaluate us the way we would evaluate ourselves. "many do say in that day 'Lord we did signs and wonders in your name' and he will say ' i never knew you' "
it really does all come down to love.
matthew 23 (right after giving the two commandments )
Jesus says "the greatest among you shall be your servant. whoever exalts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself will be exalted"
and then right after that he attacks the Scribes and Pharisees.
==========----------========--------side note--------
---------i'm convinced that the reason Jesus resisted the Pharisees so harshly was because in their hearts they resisted God, not because the had a religious spirit. thus he wanted to confront that resistance to help them see that they were in need of repentance. someone with a religious spirit can still have a yes in their heart towards God, and just be stuck in a relious mindset. i feel many christian (who have been burned by religious people or leaders) are quick to point fingers and accuse their brothers for being a Pharisee because he is still immature in some area's in his walk with God. i know this because i have done it in my heart. i've accused others of not really following God because they had a religious spirit, while i had a log in my eye. i had my own issues, hidden in the darkness.--------------==================--------------------=============
maybe "attacks" is to strong a word, you catch my wind though.
i believe extreme devotion is,
1. first Loving God with as much love is in your heart
a/ story of the talents. take the hunger he has put in your heart and stir it up, and ask the holy Spirit what that looks like. that song misty sings "no matter how small my all may be, i'm giving you all there is to me"
b/ ask God to give you more love for him, so you will have a hunger to go deep in him.
2. Love others with as much love as God has given you
a/ sermon on the mount. love the poor, love the widow, love the orphan, love the white middle class republican christian who likes being comfortable. the struggling christian. LOVE THEM ALL THE SAME
we have to constanly check our heart to make sure to keep the first commandment first. we can never love (agape) people more than we love God, for God is agape. the secound commandment will come out of the overflow of the first
"Lord teach me to love you the way you love me, take me deep in your love"
-his are the broken the needy ones, and he is Love- david crowder
"the only rebuke" mike said, "is a silent rebuke"
he went on to say that some christians will not recieve rewards, and when they stand before Jesus, and nothing is given the will feel the pain of regret. (1 cor. 3:11-15- gold and silver and precious stone endure the fire)
he said true love has regret.
the fact that people will have regret and be sorrowful will be a manifestation of their love to Jesus. mike encouraged us with this, - that we dont have to feel such regret when we arrive at the Judgement Seat of Christ if we dont want to. -
this struck fear in my heart.
my question is, what does "extreme devotion" really look like in God's eyes?
i know there is a difference between man's idea of extreme devotion and God's idea/
i dont think its about how much i fast, or how many books i read, or how long i lock myself in a closet. after all the Pharisees were better at all of those things than us.
and according to matthew 5:20 , our righteousness must exceed that of the scribes and Pharisees. but then Jesus says this, "even the least in the kingdom of God will be greater than John the Baptist." wow! Jesus! (Matt 11:11)
obviously Jesus doesnt evaluate us the way we would evaluate ourselves. "many do say in that day 'Lord we did signs and wonders in your name' and he will say ' i never knew you' "
it really does all come down to love.
matthew 23 (right after giving the two commandments )
Jesus says "the greatest among you shall be your servant. whoever exalts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself will be exalted"
and then right after that he attacks the Scribes and Pharisees.
==========----------========--------side note--------
---------i'm convinced that the reason Jesus resisted the Pharisees so harshly was because in their hearts they resisted God, not because the had a religious spirit. thus he wanted to confront that resistance to help them see that they were in need of repentance. someone with a religious spirit can still have a yes in their heart towards God, and just be stuck in a relious mindset. i feel many christian (who have been burned by religious people or leaders) are quick to point fingers and accuse their brothers for being a Pharisee because he is still immature in some area's in his walk with God. i know this because i have done it in my heart. i've accused others of not really following God because they had a religious spirit, while i had a log in my eye. i had my own issues, hidden in the darkness.--------------==================--------------------=============
maybe "attacks" is to strong a word, you catch my wind though.
i believe extreme devotion is,
1. first Loving God with as much love is in your heart
a/ story of the talents. take the hunger he has put in your heart and stir it up, and ask the holy Spirit what that looks like. that song misty sings "no matter how small my all may be, i'm giving you all there is to me"
b/ ask God to give you more love for him, so you will have a hunger to go deep in him.
2. Love others with as much love as God has given you
a/ sermon on the mount. love the poor, love the widow, love the orphan, love the white middle class republican christian who likes being comfortable. the struggling christian. LOVE THEM ALL THE SAME
we have to constanly check our heart to make sure to keep the first commandment first. we can never love (agape) people more than we love God, for God is agape. the secound commandment will come out of the overflow of the first
"Lord teach me to love you the way you love me, take me deep in your love"
-his are the broken the needy ones, and he is Love- david crowder
17.4.08
a talk with Terri Terry
after my piano class i wanted to ask Terri something (piano teacher/dean of students) so i walked in and took a seat.
the question was basically about 'when will i be less selfish and have a pure heart and act like Jesus.' i was frustrated with my weakness
she said maturity in God will come, but i was being selfish by asking such from God.
like i was loving God to get something from him.
this great quote the other day in the book "Being still" by a french contemplative, he said "the emotion we have with being near someone we love is never as important as the person themself"
the best thing i could do, Terri said, was be grateful that God loves me even though i am self-centered. Gaze on his beauty she said.
the truth is, God loves me without expecting anything in return, even my devotion. "He causes the sun so shine on evil and the good, just and unjust" - Jesus
we think the more we love God and give ourselves to Him, the more He will love us, but that is eros love, it is our mindset we inherited from eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
How do i know i love God then? how do i know that i'm not just trying to get something?
thats what i asked myself last night.
i know i love God, because the fact that i want more of Him and desire to know him proves that His seed is in me. the hunger for God cannot be produced without God. (phil 1:6) (also because of 1 John 5:10)
so even though my motives for doing things (righteous things) arent always 100% pure, i know God has placed himself in me because i want Him.
and the more mature i become in God the more fruit of the Spirit i will see.
its a life-long process though.
so i'm not going to be frustrated with myself when i think, walk and act selfishly, instead i must fix my eyes on my Father and meditate on his love.
after all i change my heart, only He and he will.
He is so kind and faithful.
really,
He is faithful to the end
the question was basically about 'when will i be less selfish and have a pure heart and act like Jesus.' i was frustrated with my weakness
she said maturity in God will come, but i was being selfish by asking such from God.
like i was loving God to get something from him.
this great quote the other day in the book "Being still" by a french contemplative, he said "the emotion we have with being near someone we love is never as important as the person themself"
the best thing i could do, Terri said, was be grateful that God loves me even though i am self-centered. Gaze on his beauty she said.
the truth is, God loves me without expecting anything in return, even my devotion. "He causes the sun so shine on evil and the good, just and unjust" - Jesus
we think the more we love God and give ourselves to Him, the more He will love us, but that is eros love, it is our mindset we inherited from eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
How do i know i love God then? how do i know that i'm not just trying to get something?
thats what i asked myself last night.
i know i love God, because the fact that i want more of Him and desire to know him proves that His seed is in me. the hunger for God cannot be produced without God. (phil 1:6) (also because of 1 John 5:10)
so even though my motives for doing things (righteous things) arent always 100% pure, i know God has placed himself in me because i want Him.
and the more mature i become in God the more fruit of the Spirit i will see.
its a life-long process though.
so i'm not going to be frustrated with myself when i think, walk and act selfishly, instead i must fix my eyes on my Father and meditate on his love.
after all i change my heart, only He and he will.
He is so kind and faithful.
really,
He is faithful to the end
16.4.08
envy
God really hit me with this this morning.
in my "prophetic worship" class Derek was talking about envy and selfish ambition and my heart was just being torn up.
last night i went to the prayer room and Jacob was leading and my heart was just cold, and i said to myself (and God) "why can't i write songs like that? why doesnt God give me songs?" and i was battling this envy in my heart. i went home and just talked with the holy Spirit. "why cant i be a songwriter? why arent songs flowing out of my heart?" it started as a mostly selfish prayer, me wanting to be a hot shot artist and produce my own CD and all,
but it turned into sincere prayer.
"Lord give me patience."
but today's session just nailed it.
this envy that comes up in our heart is so vile! its poison!
i struggle with it so much being a musician.
Derek talked about how many times our motive's for being awesome musicians are fulled by wanting to be better than someone, or have the attention that someone else has.
that is so me,
even like when i was in the practice room yesterday, i was thinking about Jeremy Denk (virtuoso piano player) and mozart believe it or not.
not that we should wait until our motives are perfect to practice, but let us long for the day when our hearts are purely set on pleasing him, and sharing His heart with others as when play.
when that envy rises up in me, i need to battle it. when a peer is elevated and given a position that i may have wanted, i feel that sting of "why should he be there? im more capable! i've been more faithful! i deserve it!" when that temptation comes i pray that i will have the grace to rejoice with that person's promotion and serve them in secret so nobody knows about it! speak well of them call them lovely.
after all who am i to say that God is unjust, that he doesnt promote people rightly.
oh, how insecure im am!
i long for my indentity to be in Christ and not in music!
Jesus, i repent for having an envious heart!
i know that this is a lifelong sanctifying process too.
it wont be over with tomorrow, i will battle this for years.
but one day i will be able to say "whether man notices me or not, i am content with being a lover of God and having his approval on my life"
Lord let us go there, take your church there.
Amen
in my "prophetic worship" class Derek was talking about envy and selfish ambition and my heart was just being torn up.
last night i went to the prayer room and Jacob was leading and my heart was just cold, and i said to myself (and God) "why can't i write songs like that? why doesnt God give me songs?" and i was battling this envy in my heart. i went home and just talked with the holy Spirit. "why cant i be a songwriter? why arent songs flowing out of my heart?" it started as a mostly selfish prayer, me wanting to be a hot shot artist and produce my own CD and all,
but it turned into sincere prayer.
"Lord give me patience."
but today's session just nailed it.
this envy that comes up in our heart is so vile! its poison!
i struggle with it so much being a musician.
Derek talked about how many times our motive's for being awesome musicians are fulled by wanting to be better than someone, or have the attention that someone else has.
that is so me,
even like when i was in the practice room yesterday, i was thinking about Jeremy Denk (virtuoso piano player) and mozart believe it or not.
not that we should wait until our motives are perfect to practice, but let us long for the day when our hearts are purely set on pleasing him, and sharing His heart with others as when play.
when that envy rises up in me, i need to battle it. when a peer is elevated and given a position that i may have wanted, i feel that sting of "why should he be there? im more capable! i've been more faithful! i deserve it!" when that temptation comes i pray that i will have the grace to rejoice with that person's promotion and serve them in secret so nobody knows about it! speak well of them call them lovely.
after all who am i to say that God is unjust, that he doesnt promote people rightly.
oh, how insecure im am!
i long for my indentity to be in Christ and not in music!
Jesus, i repent for having an envious heart!
i know that this is a lifelong sanctifying process too.
it wont be over with tomorrow, i will battle this for years.
but one day i will be able to say "whether man notices me or not, i am content with being a lover of God and having his approval on my life"
Lord let us go there, take your church there.
Amen
14.4.08
9.4.08
once
the weekend was pretty awesome.
saturday we went to this big methodist church called "crossroads"
we had a morning session and i got to sing with heathers team, it was my first time singing harp and bowl. so we sang the songs the prayed for the church in Evensville out of eph 3:16 and taught the room how the do harp and bowl.
i was pretty nervous but it went ok.
derek told us not to pray in tounges yet,
several times we caught ourselves. we are just do used to it.
we titled our prophesy rooms "personal prayer ministry" so people wouldnt be scared to come, but we definatly straight up prophesied, it was pretty neat,
for the first hour i played the piano as background. i'm learning to prophesy on my instrument, its pretty cool.
i asked the Lord to touch one persons heart and then i would play God's heart over them, pretty fun and i saw Him move.
later that night we went to check out "YHOP" evensville's house of prayer
sunday we went to this tiny little church, maybe 30 -35 people in the congregation and Derek shared a little of his testimony with his son and he talked about the Rabbiticle system is Jesus' day and how no other rabbi would ever go out to find disciples and how Jesus chose the lowest losers to be his dearest friends.
a good trip over all. not much else to say.
yesterday i saw "once" and really liked it.
gil harbard and that other girl are going to be in Kansas City May 5th, day before my birthday and i am going to see them for sure,
;)
saturday we went to this big methodist church called "crossroads"
we had a morning session and i got to sing with heathers team, it was my first time singing harp and bowl. so we sang the songs the prayed for the church in Evensville out of eph 3:16 and taught the room how the do harp and bowl.
i was pretty nervous but it went ok.
derek told us not to pray in tounges yet,
several times we caught ourselves. we are just do used to it.
we titled our prophesy rooms "personal prayer ministry" so people wouldnt be scared to come, but we definatly straight up prophesied, it was pretty neat,
for the first hour i played the piano as background. i'm learning to prophesy on my instrument, its pretty cool.
i asked the Lord to touch one persons heart and then i would play God's heart over them, pretty fun and i saw Him move.
later that night we went to check out "YHOP" evensville's house of prayer
sunday we went to this tiny little church, maybe 30 -35 people in the congregation and Derek shared a little of his testimony with his son and he talked about the Rabbiticle system is Jesus' day and how no other rabbi would ever go out to find disciples and how Jesus chose the lowest losers to be his dearest friends.
a good trip over all. not much else to say.
yesterday i saw "once" and really liked it.
gil harbard and that other girl are going to be in Kansas City May 5th, day before my birthday and i am going to see them for sure,
;)
4.4.08
first night in evensville, indiana
tomorrow i'm going to sing for the morning worship session,
first time i ever sing harp and bowl on a ministry trip, pretty excited!
it was a 6 hour car trip, but it went by pretty fast, we talked literally the whole time,
i read like 3 pages and never touched my ipod,
we just talked it was pretty fun.
we went from, the garden of eden to whether time exist to what if earth is the center of the universe
first time i ever sing harp and bowl on a ministry trip, pretty excited!
it was a 6 hour car trip, but it went by pretty fast, we talked literally the whole time,
i read like 3 pages and never touched my ipod,
we just talked it was pretty fun.
we went from, the garden of eden to whether time exist to what if earth is the center of the universe
2.4.08
in eschatology class
we broke up into groups of four and prophesied over each other, it was really awesome. everyone received like three words and everyone gave three words from God, it was really edifying.
Derek shared this word to us before we started,
he took us to Ps. 139 which is david saying how God's thought toward us are as numerous as the sand, and in 1 John, John says God is love, and according to 1 Cor 13 love thinks no evil.
so that means, God has thoughts about us as numerous as the sand and not one of those thoughts are evil or negative!
this revelation is still striking my heart. i really am on God's mind all the time, and He only thinks the best for me, his plans for me are perfect.
even when i am being corrected, he is not angry nor frustrated with me because there is a yes in my heart.
=-=Lord i thank you for being like this, give me a deeper revelation of your love for me=-=
Derek shared this word to us before we started,
he took us to Ps. 139 which is david saying how God's thought toward us are as numerous as the sand, and in 1 John, John says God is love, and according to 1 Cor 13 love thinks no evil.
so that means, God has thoughts about us as numerous as the sand and not one of those thoughts are evil or negative!
this revelation is still striking my heart. i really am on God's mind all the time, and He only thinks the best for me, his plans for me are perfect.
even when i am being corrected, he is not angry nor frustrated with me because there is a yes in my heart.
=-=Lord i thank you for being like this, give me a deeper revelation of your love for me=-=
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